Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
