Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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