Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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