so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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