yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
