I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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