u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize