I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
