We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Alive.
So much puke
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
