yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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