We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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