when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize