I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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