He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My balls are so social today.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
