i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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