i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
