Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize