Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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