That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
