wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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