I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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