The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
