I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
