I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
