So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
