tell your sister to shave her snatch
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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