Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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