somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
and you fell through a lawn chair
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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