Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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