We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
