Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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