i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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