I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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