how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
