So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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