you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
