No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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