Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
