Whod you bang
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
