you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
i out mim tonsoeep
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