she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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