She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
