Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
