So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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