Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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