Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
