I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
