Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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