thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
