that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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