Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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