Moan for me like Helen Keller
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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