my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
