note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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