There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
