I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
