Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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