That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
