I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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