If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
