So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
