I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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