what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
