hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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